Glossary
The workbook uses terms like anchor, satellite, comet, kitchen-table, parallel. They’re not jargon for jargon’s sake — each one names a real, useful distinction. Read straight through, or jump to whatever’s confusing.
A person whose relationship anchors your daily life through high entanglement — long shared history, deep care, often (but not always) cohabitation, finances, or family. 'Anchor' is descriptive of the entanglement, not a rank above other partners.
Example
A partner of ten years who shares your home and finances, where the entanglement is real but doesn't confer authority over your other relationships.
A partner you live with. The term separates cohabitation from primacy — you can have a nesting partner without that relationship outranking your others.
A partner with real commitment but less central interaction. You don't share every plan and your daily orbits are separate, but the connection is intentional and ongoing.
A partner you see infrequently — sometimes long-distance, sometimes simply on different cycles. When you meet it's vivid and brief, and the connection persists between visits.
Your partner's partner — someone you don't have a romantic relationship with but who is connected to you through a shared partner.
The practice of having multiple simultaneous romantic relationships, openly and with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.
A polyamorous practice that centers individual autonomy. Solo poly people typically don't pursue cohabitation, merged finances, or the relationship escalator with any partner — not because they don't love their partners, but because the structure of their life is theirs alone.
An approach that refuses pre-ranked hierarchies between relationships. Each connection is defined by the people in it on its own terms — friendship is not ranked below romance, and no relationship has automatic priority.
One person with two partners who are not romantically connected to each other. The two partners are metamours.
Three people who all share romantic relationships with each other. Less common in practice than people imagine — chemistry, time, and jealousy don't sum linearly.
A relationship that's sexually non-exclusive but romantically exclusive. Sometimes used as a modifier on other configurations.
A configuration where one partner is monogamous and the other is polyamorous. Workable, and dependent on explicit agreements about disclosure, time, and emotional load.
Metamours and partners are comfortable spending time together — sharing meals, hanging out, building something resembling chosen family. The metaphor is a household where everyone in the network can sit at the kitchen table.
Metamours don't interact; relationships run on parallel tracks. Not a failure mode — a fit for people whose privacy preferences, capacity, or temperament don't suit high integration.
Metamours are cordial — they show up at birthdays, holidays, milestones — but don't pursue independent relationships with each other. The most common pattern in practice.
An agreement that outside relationships exist but are not discussed. Workable when genuinely chosen by all; risky when used to dodge jealousy work or when it leaves a partner unable to make informed safer-sex decisions.
The cultural script that says a serious relationship must progress through fixed steps — dating, exclusivity, moving in, marriage, children, growing old together. Stepping off the escalator is part of what polyamory and other non-traditional structures actually do.
An agreement between specific partners to forgo barriers. A discrete event, not a relationship milestone — adding someone to a fluid-bonded set changes everyone's exposure surface.